Advice from a friend is a treasured resource. If you have friends who share good advice with you, appreciate it. Then find a way to use it to make life better.
It is sensational to give your spouse something real at home. I have been happily married for 31 years and I have to admit that it is in part due to advice I got from others. In this article, I will be sharing advice I got from my 72-year-old grandmother-in-law to be. She told me I should give my husband everything he wants at home. She figured if I did, when someone on the street offered it to him, he wouldn’t be tempted. In future articles I will be sharing advice I got to:
I am sharing this information not to give you advice on how to run your marriage. I am sharing what worked for me. In some cases, the advice will give you a laugh about some of the things my friends say.
My husband’s maternal grandmother was one of my favorite in-laws. She was tough, funny, and bossy as heck. She passed away many years ago and she is missed by more people than you can count. When I met her, she was about 72 years old, yet I still would not have wanted to get into a fistfight with her. In her life, Grandma had five husbands and two serious boyfriends.
I am sad to say, all of her husbands died. That is why she ended up with two boyfriends (one at a time, not at the same time). She said she did not want to kill off any more husbands. One Saturday a few months before we got married, Darren and I went to visit Grandma.
We spent the afternoon sitting around talking and hearing some rather good stories from Grandma. Towards the end of the afternoon, she told me, “Baby, that is my grandson and when you marry him you need to give him everything he wants at home so when those fast tail girls in the street offer him something he won’t care because he already has it at home.”
I will admit, I was shocked. Grandma was 72 years old. What the heck was she doing telling me to give my husband anything he wanted at home in order to ward off hootchies in the street! At the time, I laughed and thanked Grandma for her advice. I was a young, 22-year-old, not yet a bride and I was a little embarrassed about having this conversation with my Grandma-in-law to be.
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Later though, after Darren took me home, I was home alone with my thoughts. When I was, I thought about what she said a lot. Grandma had five husbands and I had none. I was a good Christian girl. I wanted my husband to be faithful and for my marriage to last. So, of course, I had to consider Grandma’s advice.
I will not go into all the details, but, I took Grandma’s advice. I tried to do and be what my husband wanted so he did not have to look twice at things in the street. Before my readers get excited, this was not just about intimate issues. It was about so much more.
Darren really liked and likes smart women. This was easy to do, after all, I am a genius! I have always spent time cultivating my intelligence. I read a great deal on numerous topics, SoI was going to do this anyway. To keep my husband happy, I added baseball, politics, science, and science fiction to my reading list. That way, I knew all about the subjects that interested him.
Since those early days, I have learned to appreciate chess, poker, and all kinds of weird television shows. I was and am the things that interested him. I shared his interests and along the way, an interesting thing happened. His interests became my interests. It is funny because some of the things I kept an interest in after Darren moved on to other things.
The great thing about Grandma’s advice was that Darren took it also. He learned about the things that interested me. For example, early in our marriage when I bought a knitting machine, Darren learned how to make cables with it before I did.
When I went to law school, Darren learned about adverse possession and could recite the ECHO principles with any 1L student. Recently, as got more and more into publishing online magazines, , Darren became an enthusiast. For all of our relationship together, Darren has made my dreams his dreams and I love him for that.
If you and your spouse give each other something good and real at home it keeps the marriage spicy and strong. So the question for you this sensational day is, what is your secret to a strong healthy marriage?