Real love can stand the test of time.
You can find serenity in building a love that stands the tests of time, in-laws and children. When you find that serenity, you will also find peace, comfort, and strength. Over the years, my husband has said some incredible things to me:
- I love you
- Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife
- I do
- Women don’t become beautiful until they get past thirty
- I will love you when you are 90 and your butt sags to your knees
- I had nothing better to do that day
The last statement was something he said once during an argument when I asked him why he married me. At first, I was upset with his response. What did he mean he had nothing better to do? I got a major attitude. He tried to calm me down and get me to listen to his explanation. But, I was not having it.
Then, all of a sudden, I got it. I realized he had given me a wonderful compliment. What Darren was trying to explain to me was, that of all the things in the world that he could have been doing, there was no option better than choosing to share his life with me.
Our love started a long time ago.
When we got married all those years ago, Darren was the perfect tall dark and handsome figure. He had a decent job, was a college student and had the whole world before him. In other words, this was a man with many options before him. He did not have to get married, he chose to get married. In addition, since he was a major hottie, there were plenty of women who would have loved to marry him. This I know, because I had more than one tell me. However, even with all the choices available to him, there was nothing he could think of on March 31, 1990, that was better than marrying me. In my mind that is good stuff!
Twenty-nine years have come and gone since our wedding day. A lifetime of things have taken place. We have lost parents and grandparents. Children have been gained and lost. We have had the for richer, for poorer, in sickness and on health and the for better or for worse talked about in our wedding vows. Apartments and houses have provided us with a home. We have lived in the city and in the suburbs. We have been so busy we saw each other only a few minutes per day and we have been around each other twenty-four hours per day for years at a time.
Some things have changed over the years. Instead of our home being a cozy apartment for two, it is a crowded house of six with two pets. We no longer get up at 3 am just to drive to New York for hamburgers. Hugs and kisses get interrupted by little voices saying, “Ewwwww, that is nasty.”
Spending plans now include school supplies, children’s toys and lots of bandages. Television programs now get switched quickly with the approach of little feet in the night. Instead of fighting each other for sheets and blankets, we now must join forces against the attack of twin fingers and stinky feet.
Click here to check out a story about the line Darren used to hook me forever the day we first met.
When I think about love, romance, and companionship that starts when people are young and lasts way past them being old, I think of Darren’s kind of love. Over the years, the two of us have grown and developed. The people we were at nineteen and twenty-four are different from the people we were when we married at twenty-three and twenty-eight. Now at 52 and 57 we are different from the young kids who got married all those years ago. However, some things have remained and grown stronger:
- Mutual respect
- Deep friendship
- Physical attraction
- Blind trust
- Support: mental, emotional, and physical
The things Darren did twenty-nine years ago that got on my nerves, still get on my nerves. I still do not like it when I ask him if it is raining and have to listen to the history of precipitation before getting my answer. I still don’t like it when he gets bossy. The sweet things he did back then to make me smile, still make me smile. He still knows I will forgive almost any offense if the apology is accompanied by a ball of yarn or a book. I like that he still doesn’t like to see me cry and is always my hero. The way he has always adopted my dreams as his own and believed in every venture I undertake still fills me with indescribable joy.
In conclusion, I am thrilled by the fact that after all these years, I have a husband who had nothing better to do than marry me and spend his life with me. So, the question for you this serene day is what is your recipe for building a love that lasts?
115 thoughts on “What a Thing to Say – I Had Nothing Better to Do”
Very sweet! I would’ve gotten mad too, but when you look at it from a different angle, completely changes the meaning.
so sweet. We’ve been married 21 years and it’s just getting better. We’ve had nothing but ups and very down downs. But life with him is all I need.
I love that! Very sweet compliment. I could totally see taking it the other way, though.
I think what he told you was sweet – not all men would say such things
I am glad you liked this story. It was fun for me to share.
The butt comment.was one of his funniest. He is a keeper. I am blessed and happy to have him around.
Thank you for your kinds words. I am looking forward to us growing old, gray and wrinkled together.
It took me a while to see it. I am glad I got there before I opened my big mouth too much!
You are blessed a sweetie husband is a treasure.
He is a sweetie. Thank you for the compliment. He will like hearing about it.
You sound like Darren. He always says love hides a multitude of faults.
Though I do think some men can think fast on their feet when it comes to calming wives down, I also think deep down it’s because they truly love us. This is a really lovely post.
I love a good happy ending story like this!
He is a keeper! I feel very blessed.
You have a treasure in a wonderful husband.
He still drives me crazy with his long winded stories! But, since that is his worse characteristic, I am going to happily keep him.
I will love you when you are 90 and your butt sags to your knees–
I love that comment! And I love the last one as well- I get why you were upset at first… but when rereading it it made totally sense. Sounds like a wonderful man and a keeper!
Sounds like a true love story! You both are lucky to have each other! Hope you’ll have many happy years more together!
My husband says wonderful things all the time, too. Darren sounds like a keeper!
I’m cracking up about his need to tell you the weather details in such a long-winded way. This was a sweet post, J!
It’s funny the way we can take a statement when it’s meant an entirely different way. Kudos to you for seeing the way your husband meant, ‘nothing better to do.’
What a great post. Darren sounds like a wonderful husband.
what a sweet post, I think I can relate. It definitely is for better or worse!
An awesome post. I think just to let your spouse be themselves. (YES, they will grow up…I swear! lol)
What a sweet post! My husband can be a real sweetie too!
This has to be the sweetest post. I love that “nothing better to do”. I just shared it with my husband and he smiled. So stinking sweet, that man of yours.
Aw, this was such a sweet post to read. Your relationship sounds stronger than ever!
Awww, that is so sweet. Sometimes my husband throws me off by saying something totally unexpected like that, too!
What a great post! Yeah there are some things that my husband does that I am not fond of. However, I love him so that trumps everything.
Such a sweet post! Marriage is a lot of ups and downs and being able to weather those storms together is the key to staying together.
I love that quote. It sounds like you have a wonderful marriage – you both respect and love each other.
So sweet- your husband is a lucky man.
Awww!!! I love a good real life love story! There is some wisdom in your post. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your kind words, they made me smile.
I am glad your husband is your best friend, it is a beautiful thing!
Like you, I have no secrets to lasting love. Perhaps we are still together because our kinds of crazy work well together!
Yes! When I read stories about people at 35, 50 and 70+ years it makes me feel good and hopeful!
I am sorry your husband is no longer with you. I am happy you have happy memories to hold onto.
You were so young also! I was 23 a whole month when we go tmarried. We grew up together it seems like. That seems similar to your story.
It is nice when you have a teammate who is willing to work it all out with you no matter what.
I absolutely adore the way you have interpreted your husband and how you’ve shared it. Yes, that kind of love can withstand the tests and trials of time, growth and change. Blessings to your union.
What a sweet post. My husband is my best friend and I’m fortunate to have someone as awesome as he is. Like you, I would have probably flipped out by the comment “I had nothing better to do that day” but if I ever hear it now, I’ll look at the phrase quite differently.
Honestly, I have no secrets to lasting love. I think we’re winging it sometimes…but who really knows for sure? We dated in high school, broke up for twenty years, and now are married with 2 children, so I guess we’re doing something right this time around.
This is such a sweet post! I love reading about other happy couples. When so many people’s marriages fail, it is great to know that some are thriving.
Congrats on your anniversary! I am not married but when my husband was alive I remember there were things that I loved and other things that drove me crazy. Lol. I would do anything to have just one more day with him. Even doing the things that drive me crazy. Your love story is beautiful
Congrats on your recent anniversary! Love reading people’s love stories. My husband and I celebrate our 12th year this year. We got married young too at 19 (almost 20) and 21 and have grown so much with each other over the years.
I totally agree! Setting aside time for dates or just alone time is totally imperative. I definitely need to work on this more too!
The nasty quote got me! My two year old loves to say “ew Yucky Gross!” about mud and dirt.
Good thing he explained that one! Sounds like you have a great marriage.
I want to be like your great-grandparents!!!! I can’t imagine an anniversary that high. It is a wonderful accomplishment.
Aww now this is just so cute and wonderful. I love hearing about your journey with marriage. My hubby and I have had many ups and downs over the years but there was always something that kept us together.. through thick and thin. We both agree that the bottom line is that we love each other so deeply that we’re willing to work and fight through to make the best of our lives together.
Congratulations to you! It’s so hard to keep a marriage strong and exciting. We’re six years in, and some days it’s effortless, and other days, it takes work to remember how we ever ended up together. You’re an inspiration.
I can only imagine 23 years of wedded bliss! 🙂 Congrats to you on making it such a great, long marriage full of love. I’m always in awe of those older couples who are celebrating crazy anniversaries! My great-grandparents made it 78 years. PHEW! lol
Congratulations on your 10 years!! Yes, all that stuff you listed is what makes one year ten and ten years twenty and so on..
Yes, it is better to think of the wonderful things. For most of us they outweight the bad things.
Talk with him, find out why he has been clingy. Maybe there are things going on in his heart and in his life that make him feel nervous and he wants to be assured of your love and devotion.
Congratulations on your 8 years!
Glad I had dome nuggets to share.
Congratulations newlywed. I wish you many happy and wonderful years.
Your recipe sounds like a winner!
I can only imagine how hard it is with four kids- I have 4 myself.
He often tells me he means one thing and I see 100 different meanings in every word or phrase.
Yes! I think that is the only explanation possible!
This is a great testament to how a marriage really works! My 10 year anniversary is in just a few days and I’m happier being married to my husband more everyday. We too have had ups, downs, and in-betweens, but patience, love, dedication, hope, and humor seem to make it all stick together for us!
That was so sweet! There are a few things that my husband does that make me crazy, but it’s so much better to think of the wonderful things our husbands do. 🙂
This is great advice and the “better to do” comment would have made me react in the same exact way. My hubby and I have been hitting rocks here lately due to “space” he has been super clingy and pushy lately and it’s almost pushing me away , how can I get him to step back some?
This is such a beautiful and inspirational post! I am going to celebrate 8 years married this May. So much that you said resonate with me.
Great advice to pass along to newlyweds to look at years down the road, or any time they get into a fight! Stealing some of these nuggets for my clients “well wishes” cards!
This is quite the blog post. As a newlywed, I know that we are in it for better or for worse. Thanks for sharing your story.
What a cute story! That’s great to hear though. You’re lucky to have a man like that 😉 My recipe… date nights and daily communication 😉
Yeah, I’m pretty sure I would have thought the exact same thing…but that was an extremely beautiful thing he said. As far as my recipe for building a love that lasts…I tell my husband every day that I love him. Compliment randomly. Date nights ARE A MUST! We have 4 kids, so we hardly get time to ourselves lol
Wow I think yes they are from mars, I do get what it means but I think us women we overthink everything men are lineal they are not looking 100 meanings for a single phrase us in the other hand
Well, I would have been with you on your first thought of thinking… When he said I had nothing better to do, I would probably have hit the roof, but after you explained it… I guess it is like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus or something like that.
Thank you for stopping by. I read your article before making this reply. Congratulations on your 35 years, you made me feel like a newlywed again! I like your list of traits for successful relationships. Thanks for sharing.
Congratulations Jeanne to you and your husband for a long and happy marriage. I too have been blessed with a great one–my husband and I celebrated 35 years this year–and I believe it is just getting better and better. In fact I wrote a blog about it myself because I think it is so important to let others know that it is not only possible, the benefits are so very much worth the time and trouble… Here is my link in case any one is interested.. http://smartliving365.com/the-best-marriages-get-better-better-thirty-five-years-still-counting/ Thanks again for the reminder of how wonderful a good relationship can be. ~kg
Thank you for your kind words! I pray God blesses you with a better story of your own. Working on your foundation is a great start.
No, our life is NOT a fairy tale. But, we do still love each other all these years later and have some happy memories together.
Awesome story! Thanks for sharing. Me & my guy have been building a great foundation to our relationship. I pray that God blesses us to have as beautiful story as yours.
That Is beautiful and inspiring to all us single folk…sounds like a fairy tale but I’m happy to know that it is not some tv show but real life. I love Daniel with all of my being and I long for the day we can say the same about our marriage! Thanks for sharing with us!
This is beautiful Janeane. Love it!
Thank you! Sometimes we look at our lives and it is just life. But when we share our stories with others, their reactions give us a new appreciation for what we have, so thank you!
Wow… That is just beautiful! Congratulations!!!
Thanks Amiyrah! One of my favorite things about being together for a long time is the memories we have made. That is always the saddest part when friends break up. I wonder what they can do with all the memories they made together. Often the memories are not welcome in new relationships and they are painful to carry alone.
This was so moving to read. I think the best parts of a marriage are the ups and downs, and the little things that make it memorable. We thrive off of that. And by reading your love story, I can tell that will always be true. Thank you for sharing with us, and Happy Anniversary!
Awww, Carol you are so sweet. I plan to keep him! Our marriage definitely is work, but all worthwhile things are. He is still worth the effort.
This is so beautiful. You both are very fortunate to have found each other and very wise to hold on so beautifully.
Aawwww, thanks Joyce, You really made me feel good!
Beautiful love story.
Being a wife is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.
Marriage is work. Engaged couples and newlyweds need to read your love story.
Thank you Kesha! It is funny to me how long he has been around! It seems like just yesterday we were at CCP tutoring students arguing about who was the better tutor. Now we are wondering about tutors for our soon to be in college child! Time flies.
Awww, this brings happy tears to my eyes *holds head back so they don’t fall* LOL Congratulations on you guys’ long term successful marriage and commitment towards each other!!!
Thanks! I pray you find even more happiness and joy in your marriage .
This is such a lovely post 🙂 I hope to have a marriage where I feel this way on day. Happy Aniversary
Thanks for your kind words. Marriage is hard work and not work for the weak at all! But, like many things that are hard work, it is worth it!
Being married is hard work and I always tell people it is not for the weak. I congratulate you on building a love that is standing the test of time. Happy Anniversary!
Glad you liked the story and thanks for the congrats!
Lauryn, congratulations to you also. You are right, there is nothing like having a real partner and teammate!
I have to say that I just love that story! Congrats on 23 years!
What a beautiful post! Congratulations on your anniversary and more importantly your happiness. I too have found a wonderful man…we are so lucky to have that…all the days of our lives:) There is nothing better than having a partner (a true teammate) in life.
I am glad you liked it. We are blessed. With four kids, we have to stick together or they will take over!
Congrats on your 23 years! 🙂
Such a beautiful, love-filled post! Darren is lucky 🙂 Congratulations on 23 years of marriage!
Congrats on a solid relationship! Happy Anniversary!
Happy Anniversary! What a great story to share!
Thank you for a wonderful compliment. Darren and I are praying that you and Terrence have a wonderful marriage full of every joy and happiness. I am looking forward to reading your 23rd anniversary story.
Aww! What a great story!
Thanks Pam. I will quote you when I tell him how lucky he is!
Janeane, this is a wonderful love story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us! I just read it aloud to Terrence, and we are both praying for a marriage that stands the test of time like yours and Darren’s! Happy Anniversary!
Tracy, I am glad you liked our story. I look forward to reading yours one day.
Awww..this is beautiful Janeane. I can’t wait to be able to answer your question 🙂
Beautiful. Congratulations. He’s a lucky guy.
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