At the same time, there have been some hard times, some horribly hard times. For many years we struggled with infertility. I cannot count all the horrible things that people who were family or claimed to be friends said to use as we tried without success to become parents. Later after the birth of two children, we lost a child due to miscarriage. Having had the experience, I truly understand why events like the loss of a child destroys marriages. Almost two years ago, two of my daughters and I were struck and almost killed by a hit and run driver with a history of drunk driving. Almost losing a child in that way is another stress factor that causes some marriages to fail. But, we remembered the plan – get married and live happily ever after.
We dealt with my husband losing two parents, a beloved grandmother as well as aunts and uncles. Those deaths may have been foreseeable, but we did not have a plan for how to deal with them. When these deaths occurred, they knocked us back, caused us distress, made us cry and wonder how we would go on and find happy days again. Once again, it was easy to see how situations like these could cause a marriage to fail. But, we remembered the plan – get married and live happily ever after.
Still later we dealt with illnesses, heart disease and extreme diabetes that landed my husband in the ICU unit for a week and out of work for two months. There is nothing like seeing your spouse lying in a hospital room and not knowing if he will live or die. When you have been married 24 years, have 4 children at home and never imagined life without your spouse, it is a horrible thing to spend a week in the ICU unit of a hospital. But, we remembered the plan – get married and live happily ever after.
[Tweet “Make plans and stick to them, but to succeed, be life water and adapt.”]
The story about those who lost their lives in Trapped Under the Sea and those who survived reminds me of our marriage story. Most things start with a plan. After all, if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. So, everything starts with a plan. Then life happens. This means other people get involved. Situations that were never imagined happen. Stuff goes wrong, so very wrong. Then what matters is a person’s ability to stick to the plan and adapt as necessary. My husband always says he strives to be like water. (An appropriate analogy in light of the story about the Boston Harbor.) He says that water moves, adapts and changes to fit the circumstances. Water can almost disappear as steam or it can be rock hard as ice. Water can fill in blanks and can create crevices. Water is strong, water is powerful and water survives.
My marriage has been that way, ups and downs, from steam to water to ice to water. Through it all we have succeeded, we have remembered the plan – get married and live happily ever after.
I love this description of marriage. My husband and I were not married young but our marriage is young. I often wonder what life has in store for us. We have been through many changes together, but nothing too challenging. I’m happy to keep it that way!
We just celebrated our fourth anniversary. I totally can relate to this post. We make it work by being flexible!
This sounds like a good book!
This is such a wonderful post. I can literally count on one hand the number of couples I know who are still together with multiple children under age five… so sad.
wow! Literally wow. This post resonated with me
I used to have a back up plan, but I realized I kind of liked my guy! I recently read an article about how some marriages are dead at times. Like waves, we sometimes have to ride it out.
I think too many people get married while keeping a back up exit plan. My hubs and I are in this for the long haul good and bad.
There are many lows and highs. It is work.
Marriage is definitely full of peaks and valleys. I like your plan!
Sounds like a motivational read! Marriage certainly does take a lot of hard work! You’ve got this!
I love a book that you can relate to. We too have gone through a lot and still are ticking.
It’s super important to adapt. Marriage isn’t always a walk in the park!
Marriage is the hardest thing ever, aside from parenting. But it’s something you have to commit to and work at if you want to live happily ever after. Thanks for sharing – great post!
Marriage has it’s ups and downs for sure but so worth it. Thanks for sharing this!
Such an important post. People need to understand that every marriage is going to go through ups and downs. After being married for 33 years, I can tell you it’s worth it!
This is a great story and I like how you related it all back to the book… in fact, you could write your own book!
I think marriage is just that, staying on course but being flexible when life throws you curves. Great post.
The only way a marriage can be successful is to have a plan and both partners stay committed to the plan. Once life steps into the marriage it’s a whole new ball game, my marriage story is quite the same…we just keep hitting the ball out of the park! Blessings!!
Good for you! You have certainly experienced some hard times but it sounds like it has made your marriage stronger. Thanks for sharing your story and giving us all inspiration!
I like your plan. Too many people get married, hit a rough spot and then divorce. I like that you chose to live happily ever after and have worked towards that.