I told the nurse, “no that is not what I want, for my child,” and aahh, I was a mama. Today I am exploring the moment I discovered I was a mama, one of my favorite moments in my life.
My husband and I tried for four years to have a child before my Simmie was born. This is not the post to discuss all the doctor’s visits, disappointments, medications, and heartbreaks. This is also not the place to discuss the joy of discovering I was pregnant or my, now hysterically funny reaction to the news. This post is all about the moment when I actually and really discovered I was a mama.
I spent the day my daughter was born going through labor while moving and doing laundry. I was in labor for seventeen hours before she was born. I remember sitting in the labor room listening to gospel music and having my husband read Songs of Solomon from the Bible to me. I wanted him to read to me from the Bible. At the same time, I didn’t want to hear about any smiting, war, or pestilence. So, Song of Solomon was what this patient ordered.
Sometimes, labor is funny and sometimes it is not.
The funniest part of labor was Darren watching the machine that tracked the contractions. It told you the level of the contraction before you actually felt them. After looking at one part of the printout, Darren said, “Wow, this one coming is a big one. It is four times bigger than any of the other ones.” Well, at that point I told Darren he was no longer allowed to give me contraction reports. I was having enough fun having them, I did not need a warning of impending pain.
I know there was pain, stitches, pushes, and contractions, but I do not remember all of that. Many people have said that the pain of childbirth is forgotten after birth. In my case, it was forgotten immediately after. I remember because Darren asked me if I would agree to have another child and I said I would.
After everything was said and done, and I was in my hospital room, the nurse bought my baby to me. The medical staff had told me it would be two hours before they finished their evaluations and tests and bought my daughter to me. At two hours and two minutes, I told Darren that if he did not get up and go get my baby NOW I was going to do it and it wouldn’t be pretty.
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Now I realize that after my intense labor and delivery, I could hardly walk. But, I am one determined person and I was going to get my baby. I gave my darling husband one of those looks and he went to talk to the nursing staff. Long story short, the nurse bought my beautiful, wonderful, miracle baby to me.
I picked her up, hugged her, and loved her. A big part of wanting her was that I wanted to breastfeed. So when she was brought to me I started breastfeeding my daughter. It was a wonderful experience, I could not believe that not only did I bring a child into the world, but my body was also keeping her alive. Later a nurse offered to give her a pacifier and take her to the nursery.
Ahhh, I was a mama!
She explained it would allow me to sleep and that if she got hungry they could give her a bottle for me. I was against pacifiers and against bottle feeding. In addition, even though my daughter had only been alive for a few hours, I knew what I wanted and how I wanted her life to go.
I told the nurse, no, I don’t want that for my baby. She was going to stay with me and I was going to nurse her. It did not matter what the nurses wanted. Their decisions were not the ones that mattered to me and they did not control the destiny of my child. I was making choices and decisions for my child. She was less than 24 hours old and I was making decisions concerning her welfare. And then aahh, that’s when it hit me, I was a mama. So the question for you on this magnificent day is when did you first realize you were a parent?