It is fantastic to finally realize that there is no magic secret to the work-life balance puzzle and that is okay.
Whenever you gather a group of women together, the conversation inevitably turns to how hard it is to balance the duties at home and work. It doesn’t matter if the women are successful business executives or stay-at-home moms charged with keeping things running smoothly on the home front. There is always a conversation about how to balance work and family and still squeeze in some personal time. Inevitably someone leaves the conversation upset because she feels like a failure because she can’t make it all work.
Today I am advocating for a different way of looking at it. Get over the frustration, kick it out the door and say, forget it all and accept and embrace your life, whatever it is, and keep moving. This is a great situation to use the seven stages of grief to handle:
1 Shock and denial – what happens when a woman realizes that she has responsibilities at home and work that ideally need 28 hours per day and that there are only 24 hours in each of her days.
2 Pain and guilt – what happens when she realizes that she cannot attend both her child’s school play and the big client pitch meeting at the same time so she must pick and she chooses to go to the client pitch meeting instead.
3 Anger and bargaining – what happens when she tries to explain to her family and her job that she can make it work and that she is sorry she missed the school play and went to the client meeting and that she is sorry she didn’t go out for drinks after the meeting but went home to feed the kids.
4 Depression, reflection, and loneliness – what happens when she realizes that she is not squeezing 28 hours into 24 and that there is no way she can do it. She feels sad and spends hours thinking about what she should have done, could have done.
To read more about work/life balance, check out the following:
Work Life Balance – Learn New Tricks – It is fantastic to know there is always something new to learn in the work-life balance battle. Click here to read more.
Avoid Excess and Learn to Balance Work and Home – I am a woman who works at home and know it is very easy to slip into working during all my waking hours. Click here to read more.
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5 Upward turn – what happens when she begins to realize there is hope, a chance that there may be a way to stop feeling so bad about the job she is doing juggling work, home, and her personal needs.
6 Reconstruction and working through – what happens when she realizes that there really are only 24 hours in each day and that sometimes work will rule her life and sometimes family will rule her life and that is okay. It is at this point that she starts prioritizing things situation by situation and accepting the fact that there is no 50/50 rule that will work and that is okay.
7 Acceptance and hope – what happens when she decides to be happy. She accepts that work-life balance is a myth that she no longer has to believe. She decides she is happy with her new knowledge that she doesn’t have to have it all and instead can enjoy and appreciate her life for what it is – full of opportunity to fail, but also open to the possibility for so many wonderful accomplishments.
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In conclusion, it is fantastic to finally realize that there is no magic secret to the work-life balance puzzle and that is okay. So, the question for you on this fantastic day is when are you going to embrace your life and be happy?
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45 thoughts on “Work Life Balance – Get Over The Frustration”
Number 6 really stuck with me. As hard as I try, I can’t not be balanced 100 percent of the time.
Great advice as always! I think we all struggle with a work/life balance. I need to learn how to not stress over it so often
Thanks for the inspiration. It is so hard to find balance!
Loving the quote, yea with kids I think sometimes we get a bit up tight with work, family, bringing home the bacon.. Let it go and enjoy the now.
Work life balance has been a challenge for me. I work on it everyday. Finding the perfect balance it always a prayer time away.
I definitely struggle with balancing work and our family life. The key is to NEVER give up – ever! Just keep going and doing the best you can! 🙂
Yeah – I’ve kinda given up on it all – and started to accept: I can’t have BOTH money and FUN like I’d want to – but I’ve stopped stressing. Just do what work I can when I can, and enjoy all the other moments in-between!
This is really great, Janeane. I’m dealing with the struggle, but actually your talk on the radio show the other day coupled with this post really help me. I needed to be more clear about what the obligations are for me as a WORK FROM HOME MOM. Who cleans? Who cooks? I’m working full-time, so when does work stop. Thanks for giving me the key I was missing!
Great post, and advice. You are soo right about that. Just keep on keeping on!
It really is hard to strike a good balance. I’ve even worked 3rd shift (from home) so I wouldn’t miss out on anything during the day… then, you never get any sleep. You really do have to forgive yourself and move on, sometimes.
You make such a good point about moving beyond the fail. It’s not the end after one fail; it’s just a bump on a very long highway.
I feel the guilt all of time. I don’t want my kids to think that I am attached to my computer- but sometimes you just have to be when you are growing a business:(
Being that I work from home, balance is always a struggle. I do my best, but am always looking for new tips!
Work Life Balance is hard. There really isn’t a magic way. But trying is better than giving up.
To be honest, I don’t really even strive for a balance any more. I know it’s not really going to happen. There’s going to be times when work is taking up the most time and others when the family needs most of my attention. I just do what has to be done.
I think the only way to get it all done is to hire help. LOL I am fine knowing that I can only handle so much – that’s how I achieve balance!
Strange how grief and work balance kind of go together. Definitely have gone through these stages
Carly, I was talking about this issue with a friend and this seemed like a great way to look at the problem.
I have my priorities. Family first and when they are happy and settled I can do work without the stress. Sometimes I have to try to squeeze in some extra time but they are usually pretty good with sitting with me and talking to me while I work.
Love these tips, as always. I’m somewhere right in the middle. My blog has picked up this year but I’m having a hard time balancing work and mom-life.
Balancing work and life is definitely something I am going through right now. I think it’s very interesting that you used the stages of grief to handle this!
This is a huge struggle of mine. I wish I could accept it.
that is great advice. We cannot be hung up on falling sometimes. Brush ourselves off and keep moving is the healthier way
Good for you! I don’t think you are going to be going out of business for a long, long, long time!!
As a life coach I have to admit that the work/life balance struggle does keep me in business! 😉
Tracy @ Ascending Butterfly
I sometimes have to remind myself that I can do it all all of the time. When I try to do everything, inevitably I fail at something.
Balance, what’s that? haha But really it is very hard to find balance especially as a WAHM. If my kids are happy though, I know I am that much farther ahead of the game.
Yes, an important thing to remember is your point. You can go through al those points in just a minute!
I sometimes struggle and fail at balancing my work and home life. It’s important to realize when I am failing at it and try again!
I totally agree with you, there is no magic secret to finding work life balance. I think balance is really unattainable, I just do the best I can. I put my family’s needs first but they know they can’t always have what the want.
It is nice when you have that aha moment. I distinctly remember it too, and it’s very peaceful to have that worry/guilt/stress just gone.
you have to realize you can’t give everyone everything. it’s about balance and priorities
I’m terrible with juggling. I guess not terrible, I just don’t have enough time. I try my best and that is all I can do.
I’m constantly doing the work/life struggle. I want to balance working at home and being with my kids. I think there’s adefinite balance there.
It is hard sometimes to keep frustration at a low. Sometimes I don’t even realize that I’m beginning to GET frustrated until I’m already ready to blow up! haha!
We need to be so much easier on ourselves and take things day by day, huh? 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
I get frustrated very easily! I need to find a balance.
Very good advice. Time to get on with the day at hand.
I have been trying to focus more on the things I DO have and the blessings I DO have, instead of worrying about what I need or don’t have. That has helped me a lot! Great post!
It can be really hard to find that balance. I think there are some days that are easier than others though and keeping my head up and moving forward is the best thing to do.
People are going to fail sometimes. Its how you handle it that matters most.
It is sort of like you can always start your day over, or your diet. Do not give up. A set back is not the end of everything, learn from it and try again!
That is how I try to do it.
For me, it depends on the day! I find myself too often embracing the stresses of life rather than kicking back and embracing life.
And all stages of grief can vary in length, depending on the issue! You can pass through them all in a minute, if you want to!
Sometimes it is really hard to get the right balance but i do not stress over it anymore as it was getting to me too much.I just try my best to keep everything good.
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