It is sensational to know that you can advocate for your children and to get the tools to do it. Before I began working as a writer and a blogger I worked as an attorney. It was wonderful work. I loved fighting for my clients. It was thrilling to be their advocate. I loved doing all I could to help them achieve their goals. I took my role as an advocate for others seriously. So, it was only natural that I see one of my primary roles as a mother to be an advocate for my children.
Each day I am called upon to advocate for my children in a variety of circumstances. These circumstances range from things as simple as getting the exact toy a child wants from the toy store to making sure my daughter gets the opportunities she wants at college. In school, I advocate making sure my children get the classes they need. When there are disputes with teachers or authority figures, I must step in and do what I can to get the best possible outcomes. This range of experiences is common to mothers the world over.
There are times when my children need me to advocate for them, with them. My children, like many children, want to avoid chores, early bedtimes, and dinners they do not like. As a parent, I must help them understand the importance of chores. It is my job to make sure they go to bed at a decent hour. I even have to make sure they understand that they can eat the dinner I prepared, period.
I started advocating as an attorney, but you don’t have to be one.
It is not easy to advocate on behalf of your children. Each day you may be called upon to advocate for your children with people outside the family, inside the family, or with your children themselves. No matter with whom you are advocating, you must be able to put forth your best efforts.
You do not have to be trained as an attorney to be successful as an advocate. While it is true that attorneys are trained to advocate for their clients, anyone can be trained as an advocate. The more you care about the thing or person for whom you must advocate, the more zealous you will be. The more you care, the harder you will work. When you add some good ideas to that hard work, you are more likely to achieve your desired outcome.
Sometimes books start with the strangest of circumstances.
Several years ago, I was invited to talk with parents, teachers, and administrators at my children’s school. The subject of the talk was finding ways to help your children to succeed. I was asked to talk about this topic because I was always pushing for my children at school. I advocated for:
- gifted classes for my son
- special education classes for one of my daughters
- recognition of the right to self defense for another of my daughters
- for classes and activities based on cultural proficiency
The list went on and on. As a result, I was invited to talk with the group to help other parents worth with the school teachers and administrators to advocate for their children. That presentation lasted approximately 45 minutes and then there were another 45 minutes of questions and answers. The evening was a success. Because of this evening, I realized there are a lot of parents who want to be advocates, but they don’t know how or are not confident they will do a good job. The PowerPoint presentation from that evening became my book “How to Advocate for Your Children to Succeed.”
Check out my book and learn to do it for yourself.
The book is divided into four chapters. The first chapter is all about preparation. You will read about what it means to be an advocate for your children. Next, I share my three-part plan for preparing to act:
- Speak for your children
- Support your children
- Teach Your children to advocate for themselves
With this foundation in place, we move to chapter two which is all about the work of advocating. In this chapter you read about:
- Knowing what you want
- How not to be a lazy advocate
- Keep moving after a mess up
- Advocting when the worse happens
In chapter three you read about the power of teams. This chapter focuses on:
- How to find a team to help you advocate
- How to teach your children to find a tem to help them advocate
Chapter four shares some resources that will help you become a better advocate.
Want more help to become the best advocate you can be?
This article is the first of a series of articles exploring the ideas discussed in the book. These articles are designed to help you learn how to so become a successful advocate. Read the articles and click here to get a copy of the book for yourself.
Here are links to all the articles in the series:
- How to Advocate for Your Children – My Book Tells You How
- Getting Started as an Advocate for Your Children
- Support Your Children – That is Great Advocacy
- Use Your Work Skills at Home – Advocate for Your Children
- Your Children Need to Learn to Advocate for Themselves – Teach Them
- Be Your Children’s Best Advocate
- Preparing to Speak for Your Children
One of the most important things to remember is that you can be a good advocate for your children. This is not a role you should take lightly. As an advocate, you must work to help your children achieve their goals. When your children are young, that means you advocate for their interests at school. As they age, you must teach your children to advocate for themselves. This is important because children who learn to advocate for themselves as children are more successful advocating for themselves when they become adults.
So, the question for you on this sensational day is what do you do to help your children succeed?
This is so important! I was a young mom and it took me years to fully understand that I am my kids number one advocate!
I’ve never understood parents who think their responsibilities end when their kids head off to school. I grew up with parents who advocated for me and I do same for my children…
I will have to check your book out. It sounds like a good read.
I always advocate for my kids. I have a child who is autistic so he needs me a lot more than the others and if I hadn’t advocated for him, he wouldn’t be getting the services he needs.
YES!!!!! Our kids must learn the right way to stand up for themselves in situations. We cannot always be there and sometimes, they must act on the spot.
Our children always need us, no matter how old they get. There is nothing like a mama’s love or a mama’s fight for her children.
I love that you added teaching children to advocate for themselves. While I can and will do everything I can when I can, there may be times I can’t. They have to learn and I agree the younger the better. There is a difference between being flipant/backtalk and explaining or defending. All kids should have a right to learn to “debate”
This sounds like a great book. Congrats on publishing your book. I am still a advocate for my kids and they are grown.
Nobody will fight for them like a parent will. We all want the best for our kids.
I 100% believe that it is our job to be our children’s biggest advocates!
I’m a true believer in that if I don’t advocate for my kids no one will.
I was an advocate for my boys with the public school system for a long long time. Finally I ended up pulling them out and have been homeschooling them for a few years now. It is important to take matters in your own hands and do what you feel is best for your kids in every situation.
I am looking forward to writing more and to having conversations with parents about advocating for our children.
It is hard finding the correct balance between teaching our children to advocate for themselves and advocating for themselves.
Yes!!!!! I look at my kids’ work, done by grade school kids and I see other kids turn in work that looks like it was done by someone with a post-doctorate in physics. It is sad. There is a difference between helping a child and doing something for a child.
Yes, if we start teaching them to advocate for themselves when they are young, they will be able to do it all their lives.
That is one of the most humbling things to me about being a mom. SO often my children ask questions or for me to do something and I just pull it out of the air and make it work. They don’t know but are just impressed that I got done what they wanted or found the answer they wanted.
I am totally in my children’s corner!
This sounds like a great series and I am looking forward to reading the following posts from you. Your book sounds like something every parent needs to read!
Wow, this sounds like an excellent book for all parents to read!
This sounds like a great book. We always want to do the best for our children, but sometimes we don’t know how. This looks like it could be a major help.
i agree, too many people tell me that I should allow my kids speak up for themselves and maybe i should but as their mom it is my job to protect them. What a great post!
I keep an interst in my kids work, but I dont hover. I see too many kids projects look like they were done by their parents not them.
What an important roll we call all share and get involved in.
Even if you don’t have kids of your own there are so many around us that need that extra support!
Great post!
I try to stay very involved in my son’s education. I’m always there to help him with anything he needs, and I’m also always there staying on top of making sure I get all the paperwork he supposed to give to me.
i liked what you said about advocating for our children when they are young. i LOVED what you said about teaching them to advocate for themselves. that’s our job for sure!
It’s SO important for parents to advocate for our children and in some cases, all children. There are parents out there who do take the role of advocate lightly and it’s such a shame. Going to look into your book, Janeane!
This is so true!! I remember being little and turning to my mom for everything. I thought she had the most amazing things to say and was always so impressed when she would take action to fix a situation. Looking back now I’m sure there were times when she had no idea how to help me but she was always so good at being there, I never noticed. – Katy
I think that’s probably the most important job a parent has: to be an advocate for their children.
I don’t have kids, but I certainly believe in advocating for any family member in need. I’d do pretty much anything for my family members.
I would literally do anything for my boys.
I guess this book will be helpful for mothers parents like me. thank you for sharing!
Yes, all parents need to learn how to advocate for their children. If we don’t their needs will be ignored while the power players get attention and help for their children.
sounds like an interesting read. I know some moms on the PTA who would say they don’t even need that book!
All so very true and very well said!
This is so true! My children are in special ed, and I advocate for them everyday. I get so aggravated when I see parents just sit back and let their kids fall through the cracks, then complain the school isn’t giving them what they need. Parents need to advocate, need be a strong voice in every aspect of their child’s life.
Very well said and yes, it is an important role that every Mom should know how to do and handle.
I don’t have children yet but I feel like it’s important to advocate for all your loved ones. You can bet that I would absolutely advocate for my children, it’s so important for children to know that they are supported and someone will always be there to encourage them.
Sounds like a Must Read for me. Being a foster mum I am faced with a lot of “fighting” for our kids.