Janeane's World: Published By James, Davis, and Associates

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Love Yourself and Your Family Will Be Happier

You can find serenity in learning to show yourself some love.

You can find serenity in learning to show yourself some love.


I speak with many women on a daily basis. Women who do amazing and incredible things. They are bloggers, business owners, mothers, executives, teachers, marketers, librarians, just all kinds of women from all walks of life. They are so different in so many ways, yet at the same time, they have so much in common. One thing they all recognize is the need to start treating themselves as nicely as they treat others.

This is a common phenomenon with women all across America. As wives, we cater to our husbands and do things specially designed to make them happy, satisfied and manly.  As mothers, we cater to our children and find ways to feed, clothe and shelter them in impossible situations while finding ways to slip them toys to make them smile. Incredibly, we do these things happily, joyfully and without reservation. When we do them, we do not think of the sacrifices we are making or the things we deny ourselves to make these things happen for our spouses and children. In many cases being good wives and mothers gives us a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

However, we must learn to show ourselves some love. We must find a way to treat ourselves to some of the treatment we give our loved ones. No matter how many children we have, no matter how much or how little money we have, no matter what our obligations to work are, we must find a way to step out and do something for ourselves, treat ourselves to some good loving. When people ask me about free time, I often tell them, “I do not have free time. I have a husband, four kids, a dog and a cat, I am a busy woman.” However, even with all that, I find ways to carve out a bit of free time, where I treat myself to something special.

Once per week, I go to my neighborhood Starbucks for two or three hours. I order a cup of coffee, just a plain cup of coffee and I work on something on my laptop or read a book on my Kindle 3G and knit, or I pay the bills. It doesn’t really matter what I do, I am just taking some time off to go and do something just for myself. I started this policy when I had very little money and a cup of plain coffee was only $1.59 with tax. After 15 trips to Starbucks, I got a fancy gold card with my name on it which means I get unlimited refills on a plain coffee or a plain tea. I look forward to those hours at Starbucks and just knowing I have that treat coming helps me get through hard workdays and children driving me crazy.  I take this time to show myself love.

I work at home so there is nothing to make me wear anything other than my nightie all day. But recently, I have been giving myself the treat of looking my best. I put on a nice dress, my good shoes, jewelry and my best lipstick. I look gorgeous. My husband comes home from work and no matter how hard his day has been, I look good enough to make him smile. My children look at me and wonder where I have been that I look so good. All day long I sit up straight and feel good about myself. I show myself some good love and look good along the way.

It is a well-established fact that when you feel good about yourself it is easier for you to do what is needed to help others feel good about themselves. In other words, if you want to be the best wife and mother you can be, it is important to be good to yourself. So, the question for you this serene day is what can you start doing today to show yourself some good love?